'Dear California, I'm dumping you' by the L.A. Times, an instant classic -- EXCERPTED

So bittersweet, this lament that affects me in a gut-shot way.

Thanks, Candice Reed, fired journalist:

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Dear California, I'm dumping you.

I've been thinking about this for a very long time, and I've come to the conclusion that we should go our separate ways. I thought I loved you and it would last forever, but I was so very wrong.

When we first met I was young and rather naive, and I loved you unconditionally. I spent years running with abandon across your sandy beaches in the bright sunshine, playing in your beautiful parks and attending your top-rated schools, which were a national model for the other states. For 18 years or so, I can honestly say that I was truly in love with you, but then came your first major transgression: Proposition 13.

(Insiders will get this. Outsiders can skip ahead from the beginning of the end, and enjoy the end per se. Suffice it to say that the seeds of our destruction apparently were sown in the '70s, from property tax collection to music, movies and cultural implosion.)

There's no doubt that I still have feelings for you, but since I lost my job in the newspaper industry and my house is being sold under duress, I want out. I'm leaving you, California, and you might as well know the truth; there's another state, and I'm falling for it hard.

Oh, and my new state still has jobs in the newspaper business, which I will admit makes my heart go pitter-pat, and I find myself daydreaming about healthcare benefits again. I know my new state isn't perfect. Oh sure, the weather isn't as nice as yours, and it's got its own budget shortfall, but it's coping, and I can dress in layers. Nothing is perfect.

So that's it, California, it's over. You've cost me too much. I'm starting over, but I can see happy times ahead. Like we once had.

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Read the whole enchilada here.

And my own version? Dat took me to Cajun land, the Gulf South, way down Lou-siana way, ya heard?